


repetition

by writerdragonfly



Series: Fics I Am Currently Working On (March 2021) [21]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Character Study, M/M, Season/Series 01, Sentient Atlantis, Time Loop, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 18:41:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerdragonfly/pseuds/writerdragonfly
Summary: repetition, noun:the action of repeating something that has already been said or written.--The men and women of the Atlantis Expedition discover a rash of Wraith hive ships on the way. Atlantis, low on power and feeling their panic, acts to defend them... Rodney McKay wakes up in Antarctica on the day John Sheppard narrowly avoids an Ancient drone.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: Fics I Am Currently Working On (March 2021) [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208750
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	repetition

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote the majority of this first chapter in 2016. However, this is one of my March 2021 projects so I decided to upload the first bit. I hope to have the second chapter up by the end of the month, but further updates will be slow as usual with my fics. 
> 
> I want to focus on how these characters (and characters to come) react as they change and mold themselves into different people. 
> 
> I welcome any input or any suggestions for characters you want to see more of. Characters from other fandoms to be fused into SGA are welcome as well. 💛

* * *

**I: One**

* * *

  
  


He wakes up to the taste of stale coffee on his tongue and a heavy blanket weighing him down. 

There's an alarm clock blaring a steady high-pitched beep within a few inches of his face, and it takes an uncomfortably long time before he's awake enough to remember how to shut it off. 

It takes another ten minutes of hiding his face back under his blanket before he realizes that something is wrong. 

And what's wrong is this: he hasn't slept in his bunk in Antarctica in the year since the expedition left, and he doesn't remember returning there. 

(Surely he'd remember them getting back into contact with Earth?)

He hides under his blanket for another five minutes before it gets to be too much. 

**-x-**

He doesn't even think about it before he slips on his orange fleece and heads out the door. 

**-x-**

It doesn't take long for him to realize he's reliving the past. 

**-x-**

"Carson, get back here," Rodney says, his chest suddenly feeling tight. 

"I could sit in that chair all bloody day long and nothing would happen. It's a waste of time. Excuse me, Doctor Weir," Carson says before he walks away. 

Rodney talks to Elizabeth on auto-pilot and wonders if he's supposed to change things or if changing things is exactly what he shouldn't. 

**-x-**

"Did--did I do that?" Sheppard says, and Rodney hears the hesitant stutter and knows. 

**-x-**

They don't get much time. Sheppard keeps getting shuffled between people (Elizabeth and Carson and...) and Rodney knows he doesn't have much of a chance to ask before it's too late. 

"I need to borrow Major Sheppard for a moment," he says to Carson, who raises an eyebrow at the correct pronunciation of the Major's name. 

When they're finally alone--in the tiny little office connected to Rodney's lab--he locks the door behind them and turns around. 

And Sheppard kisses him, hard and fast, and Rodney just sort of _falls_ into it. 

Except, except... No, this isn't what he brought John in here for. Not that it isn't, well, a startlingly fantastic kiss. 

"Wait," Rodney manages to squeak out (not that he's _ever_ going to admit that it was pretty much the epitome of a squeak.)

"What?"

"Not that I didn't like that... kiss, but I didn't drag you in here so we could make out in my tiny office."

"This is your office? It's the size of a broom closet."

"Yes, well, it's my office. I know it's not as big as my office in Atl--"

"Oh, thank god. I was beginning to think no one remembered--"

"No one--why did you kiss me if you thought I didn't remember going to bed in Atlantis last night?!" 

"McKay, you were giving me that look in the Chair Room--"

"What look? I looked at you the way I always have."

"See, I remembered you gave that same look to Allina when we first met her, and then I realized you look at me like that all the time."

"What? I do? I mean--"

And then John kisses him again, and it's hot and wet and well, Rodney doesn't intend to stop him this time.

Except John stops kissing him, which, why?

"What's the last thing you remember doing last night?" 

"What? I thought we were--oh, fine. I went to my quarters to attempt a nap after the hell that was Allina stealing our ZPM and the Wraith... Wraith Hive Ships inbound."

"Damn it," John hisses the words in a low tone, "Same here. I don't know what happened."

"Do you think--"

"Doctor McKay? O'Neill is looking for Major Sheppard," a voice interrupts them through the door. 

"He'll be right there," Rodney answers.

John and Rodney just watch each other for a moment, and then Rodney kisses him again. It's soft and short, something with promise and intent. 

"It's just a few months," Rodney says, and his voice sounds rough and a little broken. 

"Do you... Do you think we should try to change anything?" John asks.

"I don't know," Rodney admits, "but I think we already have."

**-x-**

Rodney _really_ wants to strike Kavanagh from the list of scientists coming to the Atlantis base, but he can't. There's no valid, provable reason to do it. 

Instead, he decides to sit down with every member of his science staff (a decision which confuses the hell out of almost everyone he's ever met) and discuss the potential reality of the trip with them. 

So he sets up meetings with each member of staff immediately after they get the go-ahead, arranges for fifteen-minute intervals for the ones he knows will do well, and half an hour for the ones who might not. 

Kavanagh gets half an hour, his time at the end of the day's arrangement deliberately. 

"What is this all about, Dr. McKay? Dr. Weir tells you to play--"

"Dr. Kavanagh, I was one of five people considered for the position of Chief Scientific Officer of the Atlantis Expedition and ultimately I was the one chosen. You, however, were not even remotely considered. Please remember that before we continue."

"That's--"

"The purpose of the expedition is a scientific and anthropological study of the Ancient city and the Pegasus Galaxy as a whole, correct?"

Kavanagh blinks at the change of topic, obviously calming whatever impending rant he had coming. 

"Yes, it's going to be the most important advancement we've made possibly ever."

"What do you think the city, and by extension, the Pegasus Galaxy will be like?"

"Why are--I bet you're asking everyone so you can look good in front of--"

"Doctor Kavanagh," Rodney snaps, far angrier than he expected to be, "Do you think that Colonel Sumner is preparing a military contingent to accompany the expedition is over-zealous and potentially unnecessary?"

"What? It's just politics, isn't it?"

"It's insurance. We are the best and brightest scientists on the planet, Kavanagh, and we are about to partake on a potentially one-way trip to an unknown _galaxy_ , with the knowledge that even if we reach an unoccupied city, our best-case scenario is potentially starvation. And let us not forget that the legends say the city was sunken underwater. The military is there to protect us, first and foremost, and in the event that we walk into the war the Ancients _abandoned the city over_ , they are there to protect Earth at any cost."

"Isn't that a bit rash? I mean, we--"

"Have you ever been on a gate team, Kavanagh?"

"No, why would I put myself in danger like that?"

"The entire expedition, Dr. Kavanagh, is essentially the Milky Way galaxy's biggest gate team. Three hundred civilians and military personnel walking through the Stargate into what could be the best and most exciting things to ever happen to them, or potentially the worst. If you do not believe in the people you're going with, the scientists, the civilian staff, the military grunts, or even the guy who will end up in charge of cleaning the Ancient toilets, you are a risk to the lives of everyone else and I do not want you anywhere near the expedition."

"But I--"

"If you have any questions about your place in the expedition, should you chose to formally accept the offer, we have ten more minutes scheduled before I get back to my lab. Otherwise, you have until Monday to accept or decline."

"I didn't sign up for a gate team, McKay."

"You signed up to be a part of something that could potentially change our world, a position that as intended, would have far less military oversight than the Stargate program without cutting into the potential scientific advancements, a position where you felt you could grow and not be stifled by the military, correct?"

"Yes, but--"

“But _nothing_. This is a chance of a lifetime, but you shouldn’t be under any illusion that it’s guaranteed to be safe. If you ultimately decide that your life isn’t worth the risk, no one important would fault you for that. You are not under any obligation to commit to this, Dr. Kavanagh.”

“And if I say no, what consequences will I have to face, McKay?”

“The expedition will happen without you. You have to decide if you can live with that.”

**-x-**

Rodney doesn't expect to see Kavanagh again. 

Except he does. 

Kavanagh shows up fifteen minutes early on Monday morning, dressed sharply in his lab coat.

And there's something in his face that Rodney truly never expected to see. 

Respect. 

“Dr. McKay,” Kavanagh says, in front of fifteen of his fellow scientists, all of whom are aware of just how much McKay doesn't really like Kavanagh (and those had been the good days, back then).

And Rodney says, “Dr. Kavanagh.”

“I would like to formally accept your offer to be on your gate team,” he says, and there's a couple of startled gasps because he hadn't said that to everyone. Just, well, a few of them. 

“What gate team?” O’Neill says, and Rodney hadn't even noticed the man was there. 

Kavanagh huffs, that little hint of annoyance and arrogance in his voice directed toward him instead of his colleagues for once, “Only the biggest and best one, sir.”

“I was under the impression that McKay was going on the Atlantis Expedition, not playing astronaut with his scientists.”

“What is the expedition, O’Neill, if not the planet’s biggest gate team?” Rodney says evenly, not allowing his tone to broker any hesitation. 

To his surprise, O’Neill laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment~! I welcome the conversation.
> 
> Hit me up anywhere to harangue me into writing, talk fic, fandom, or whatever catches your fancy.  
> [Tumblr: writerdragonfly](https://writerdragonfly.tumblr.com)  
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